Blog post arised!

Phrasal verbs paragraph

Even someone-maybe Satan tell on me, "What have she achieved during she've been on Saipan? How about her English? Didn't she fall over? Didn't she goof around?", I can bursh off it because I know everything came off the way the Lord planned it.

Now, we're thinking about a few days left. I believe in His work that would end up in perfection day by day.

Now I'm looking at the chart of phrasal verbs, I feel like very sleepy, but I'm not dozing off, yet. Above all, I come up with not so many verbs that all of us have carried away for two days. These phrasal verbs that I already wrote took a lot of minutes. I wanted and want to get back to Ch.24, but I could try to go along with the speeeeeeeeedy classes.
I talked to myself, 'You do as much as you can do for this short time.'

I've still lots review things and I don't know when I can bring back it even in Korea. It's almost giving up, lol. The schedule that came off for two days was led by God's grace, as an intensive course that we broke through in first semester.

My English speaking doesn't point to taking off of this course.
A few books which we piled up after looked it over can't show our work off.

The attitudes to God I've got to know and some changes in me are more important than plenty English I've learned to me.
In new week that start out from tomorrow, I will stick with God even that's not way I want and please.

Phonics Chart 13 Writing a Story

I read "cedar" from the Bible. In the period of King Solomon, a certain king sent a big amount of cedars for the temple of God to King Solomon.

The vision of the temple was already given to King David. He prepared many skillful constructors for the future. The completed temple would have a lot of beautiful colors and give nice impressions. It would glare and be secure. It is the symbol of "Immanuel". God blessed Solomon.

Many neighbors came to him from other countries to hear the warnings of their lives or to hear of good actions for better lives.

They gave him precious treasures. A king gave him sweet fruits like raspberries, strawberries and blueberries.

King Solomon had been blessed with God's temple, wisdom and prosperity for
the Kingdom of God.

Phonics Chart 12 Writing a Story

Larry got married when he was as young as 23years old. He already has a 7-year-old son. But he got divorced with his wife and was still finding his job. I was not easy. He has even written a letter and sent it by airmail to a company in another country.

One day, he was recommended as a night guard of a museum, but he didn't want the job. Three old guards of that museum who were going to retire from the job pushed him to get that job. They showed him the entire exhibit in the museum. But he watched all of them roughly.

Now, Larry should decide and let them know that he will give up this job. Finally, he rejects and comes out through the unlocked door. At that moment, he meets his son below the tower.

What will Larry tell him?

Phonics Chart 11 Writing a Story

Some photographers have their own models. They would want a great choice. But I think some just want a pretty face.

Once, an amateur photographer who I knew sought out for some pretty models. One of the girls was my friend. She was pretty, of course. One day, holding a heavy camera, the photographer took a lot of pictures of her beside a huge wall all day long. I was not there, but I know this because I saw some photos of her on the internet.

When I saw them, I thought that she was caught by him rather than thinking that the photos were beautiful. And It was relief because I was not related to such pictures.

Talking about them to my little sister, I said, "How could you choose a right face among thousands of people? That's a really stupid thing to do. I don't like it."

She was drawing honeybees on some cards for each one of her Sunday school students. The honeybee was painted on a badge. She has paused for a few seconds, thinking, and said. "I would not be able to do it. But I think finding a face of Christ would give the best choice for all photographers."

Thanksgiving Day

Mr. Kim and two brothers were broiling turkey for thanksgiving day. Everyone was thrilled with joy because it was the first time to have thanksgiving day altogether.

Eunice decorated the hallway in the house with curled ribbons. And Grace lit the candles brightly. At that time, Joy and Shalom were talking about something in the kitchen.

Joy said, "Shalom! do not put a lot of soy sauce! It's special day!" Then, Shalom said, "Don't worry. I already knew that. I am gonna put three tea spoons of soy sauce."
Joy said, "I will trust you. Let me just mix the flour slowly. The Lord will do it through us."

Becky was chalking a message on the wall. She chalked, "Jesus is worth dying for."

At night, their town was calm. Judy said, "Everybody come and let's start!" They gathered and praised the Lord. They thanked God and prayed to stand firm on His grace.

Light after Darkness

Light after darkness, Gain after loss,

Strength after weakness, Crown after cross;

Sweet after bitter, Hope after fears,

Home after wandering, Praise after tears.

It was the day like light after Darkness. This Co. jamboree was the most exciting one so far. Of course I do not have to be upset too much, it gave delight 4 of us. Miss HT. has served jamboree more that I, but we were excited together after it overed.

It was very hot day. I went to wash our clothing to the coin laundry, and I can feel humid and hot weather. However, when the birthday party for one-year-old baby started, it began to rain. Sometimes there are a few children in party. There were a lot of children as much as I could not count them, today.

Danielle has got to join us. She came to Miss HT.'s office to just bring something to her roommate, but she went with us for face painting. She has been painted face painting throughout the party. Miss HT. led many children with some games. Miss L., Grace and I played the puppets and pleased children with balloons. We were perfect team because of the great response of children. I think we played all games we can figure out. It was lasted for 3 hours. It was awesome! We were tired and sweaty but smiling. The children's excitement was our joy.

As for me, it was the first day that I talk to Miss HT and L. in English 'comfort'. Before that, I could speak a lot to them but being tensed was unavoidable. I wanted have fellowship a lot with them, in truth, Gospel. Yet it did not be naturally and my English might have been 6 years old. Even I could worry about it easily, the Lord has led me to gaze Him more and more. He gave me comfort mind from the time that I rode in the car to go to the party place. He has made me command all burden unto Himself.

We had to make the jamboree long because the food was late, but it was not a hard working since the cute children. A boy came to Miss HT, and said. "Every game is very very fun!!". lol. How cute are those children!! After we arranged all stuff, we ate things a little bit for there were no more main menus. Everybody without us in the party was very hungry. Miss HT. asked us carefully whether or not we can be with them longer. She wanted to appreciate us. So we went to eat some dessert.

It was so good and fun. Miss HT. was made up of a clown, and we went to Macdonald's. We laughed in front of the gate because people would see her and be surprised. We prepared in our mind, and entered. All people inside looked at her and their eyes got big. So we laughed for 20 min.. I was so glad to just have another unexpected meeting together. We did not talk about not so important things, but we were getting to know each other. I trust that only getting to know would be encouragement for our faith.

I could talk with her about her mother and the closest friend who passed away on the way to school again. God has done it all. It needed patience many times to hold jamboree everytime, and sometimes I could not know what was going on even I was with them in jamboree together. It would be not the end and I would need patience more but I was so glad and excited. I praise God for His answer. As I told to Miss HT, I hope it would be real help for the kingdom in them.

In His grace being vibrant by hope in Him

Everybody in G. might have been pleased for this Monday and Tuesday. By Sunday night, I was practicing for pronunciation test hard. The dictation and pronunciation test are supposed to be on Monday. At the dawn, Becky told me that we could not go to school and fell asleep, but I prepared to go. When we are having breakfast at the kitchen room, Judy came in and let us know about off-school for typhoon.

According to residents' state, the typhoon of island brings huge damage. So most of stores which beside the beach road were covered by light wooden board on their windows. The typhoon warning did not bit, the Lord made it weak, so we did not have any damage. The Lord gave us holidays for the sick of us.

On Wednesday, we started a shout week well even though our body could not adjust the everyday schedule. We checked our pronunciation, listening and writing. In this week, it has been hard for me to taking note in my small and silent room on cloudy days. Maybe I should find out my own way to study efficiently, and study straight to the end of this semester. It would be time to study by myself. I used to want to review adding something what I need to memorize for me last semester, but studying by myself was not easy even now the time came.

During the two off days, I watched the CD of Jump Pusan. M. Kim stated the revival history of Korean church and current mission achievements. He empathized that this is time for revival. I have got to see what God has done in my country, and the entire world. So that the importance of revival of the Gospel got big in my mind. Especially in my heart. The real revival makes us live denying ourselves on the cross. The Gospel is the truth like burning fire in our heart. The Hope of Jesus' return gives us abundant energy to be faithful.

Then Deborah said to Barak, "Go! This is the day the LORD has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the LORD gone ahead of you?" So Barak went down Mount Tabor, followed by then thousand men. (Judges 4:14)

Even though the glory of killing Sisera in hand could not be given to Barak, he obeyed God simply no matter what is his weakness and situation because God had already been in the fight place. There is nothing but trusting completely. Through the servants who go through by faith in the Bible and here, God arouse me from being weary by opposition in myself.

Even many students who study English in cyber Jungchul say, "You need tenacity for mastery of English." God says "You can do it. Do not tell 'cannot' about what God told 'can' about it." How come the Lord's power cannot break through everything? I prayed that He should let me stay with full of faith and hope but not empty in the Friday prayer service. There is a big difference between just being calm and being silent for hope of the Lord and faith. Thinking of Jesus who would come soon, I renew my mind up!

Current School Life

I got one more thing that makes me happy to go to G. school. It is right first graders! For two weeks, I was making small gifts for them. Even after teacher-aide, I could not forget their faces. As soon as turn from them, I want to see them again. Then, at the beginning of last week, I remembered one day that I helped them doing art works. They liked the drawing I drew even it is very simple. So I planned to give them some paper token what I drew. But it was not so easy. And it has made me remind their faces and pray for them.

Many faces of all first graders came up in my mind, and it was so wonderful! God must be please to listen to my prayer for them. So I could draw their faces along their different looks. It took more than a week. I gave them the tokens in this week. Cute first graders! They love it. (Their homeroom teacher told me about it.)

I cannot be with them over their whole lives, even one semester. In my prayer, I am worrying about them. 'How would they go forth?' 'What kinds of person would their parents?' 'What would they see?' 'How could they meet the gospel and born again?' But I have been praying for their lives to be saved and changed. I could not do for them anything. So I contained my prayer and hope for them on my token.

I see junior high students at school. I see them at every chapel time once on a week. I was glad to see some teenagers who I met at a out-reach leading the worship time last Wednesday. During that chapel, I hoped that students who love Jesus and follow their pastor at YO** become some changer in junior high. The holy desire that wants to follow the Lord could be spread to every student.

By the way, in this week there were many sick persons in my class. Sarah has already known for her face and stomach, and shalom fell down at the stair down to 1 floor and sprained her ankle. Even Joseph has been being sick for two days. Joses needs to have some rest and Judy has tired and been sick. I hope them would be okay soon.

Especially as for Sarah, we are continuing to pray for her. God gave her a good time. I think He will renew not only her body but soul and mind.

Realizing the Prayer requests for Youth

 

I determined to attend to YO** out-reach. When Shalom required us to spend a night at that out-reach with her, I could not decide, but the Lord gave me not a pressed heart but a desire that want to be challenged. That challenge was not for testing my ability or English speaking skill. I wanted to know more the prayer needs of youth on Saipan that I just used to hear about it in person. I thought that they would not like to let me join them so that it would need a lot of trying, but I wanted to go there to go through those matters.

This out-reach did not need so big help, because there were some events that students planned and some of the members were already senior. Several teachers of junior high have come, too. The youth have just needed prayer for them and the pathway that the Lord can work in them through it. Even though we can not be visible help, Pastor F. would get great blessing that we are there, observe them and pray for them eagerly.

If the Pastor makes groups in them and let them pray themselves, they pray together. And they listened to preacher more or less. But as soon as the worship service over, they returned to totally free. So I felt strange feeling looking at them, but I could understand them. If there are students honest more, they would be confused themselves worshiping with another appearance. There were a girl who keeps her self-respect, a girl who enjoys some music singing strange lyrics and some teenagers who have lots of skin ship each other and wear low-cut dresses. There words were very fast and have a lot of slangs so that it was hard to listen them. It was hard more to sit calm and talk with them. But a girl with whom I could talk with in chance permitted was always preacher of gospel in school even she was young as least fifteen years old. She had a broken family and goes to a public school, but she accepted the Lord seriously. I was surprised for the girl who lives in Kag***.

I wanted to listen them all and to know them more. But the beginning of that relationship was not easy. However, I could be with them playing and running funny with them at night. I needed to try more as much as it is hard. Shortly after the starting, I was enjoying it. Inexpertly, I could see their pretty heart that willing to let me join them.

Even though their favorite music and movie drove me crazy and I had few of fear at first, but I have got to know and love them more seeing them some times. (At the C. Jamboree at the Kag*** church) I think attending this out-reach was very good choice! I had a headache and several showy scenes in my thoughts in the Saturday morning but I believed that the Lord would work in them by our prayers even I can see only one aside of them, now. I could not know God's great, deep and wonderful plan but the Lord has worked during that short time. Above all, He gave me some prayers about the teenagers, Pastor and teachers in my heart. I am going to pray in hope of new wind of gospel that the Lord would give it in them.

 

Visiting another town with brothers

It was the first time that I have been to Kag***. I did not know where Joseph goes every Tuesday. Miss HT. told me that Pastor R. wants to build the churches in the west, east, south and north on Saipan, last Saturday. I could not understand it by the time I visit Kag***. It was so far from G.

They called it 'out-reach'. I did not know why they call that meeting like that. I have got to learn the reason when this jamboree over. There were about 60 children. A girl of the church told me less than seven children come to church every Sunday. The Kag*** G church might has invited a lot of children in the town. They invite them every beginning of a school year, then sing some worship songs together, give them face painting and gifts, play games, and share a simple message and supper. After watch all of these, I could understand why its name is out-reach. They were reaching many unbelievers through this opportunity.

There is a public school in the K. town. Through message, Miss HT. encouraged the children not to be afraid of facing new semester because of the Lord who is with them. Some girls sitting beside me were getting encouragement.

The members of C. jamboree were encouraged, too. Because of two brothers-Joseph and Joses were with us. Of course, there were not so many things to do, but I was helped by them who just went there together. And we could know more how we serve and where we go each other. We have got to learn how much precious matters we are serving.

A woman who looks leader of the church led throughout the out-reach. Her husband and she were keeping the place of sowing the seed of prayer in that church. We met her daughters, too. Two of them were the girls whom I met at the YO** out-reach. I could know they are faithful in that church. I came to appreciate them. I hope them just be there with praying for the people in that town.

The children would be encouraged to come to the church through this opportunity, too. I hope nothing is flown but the Good News to the town through the church. I bless the town in His grace.

Preparation for Race of 6 months

Praying for new semester, I realized that we need prayer more and more. I thought we do not have appropriate sense for plan of next semester. But God led me to fix my eyes on Him only as I pray for another six months. So before last Monday, I determined to trust and obey teacher and leader absolutely again. Therefore, I could shut every possibility that wrong thoughts can come. Then I became vibrant, prepared and confident by faith in the Lord.

Differently with my thought and preparation, this week was so quiet and not tight so. It was a preparing week and calm because of note taking. J Even though we were silent, God made my mind more steadfast passing this week.

For who knows what is good for a man in life, during the few and meaningless days he passes through like a shadow? Who can tell him what will happen under the sun after he is gone? Then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all his efforts to search it out, man cannot discover its meaning. Even if a wise man claims he knows, he cannot really comprehend it.

(Ecclesiastes 6:12, 8:17)

In meditation of Ecclesiastes, I have got to pay attention to my and all people's limit point and wisdom in the Lord's sight. God's trial is really good gift and help. When I am hesitating to make my mind up, it helps me make it quickly. Before now I used to think that some suffering gives me lots of growing in Christ and benefit for my soul. But I did not want to ask for the difficulty like that. I have only wanted to avoid it.

But I can welcome a hard time now since I have admit my fault what God said through the trial He have given to me. And I know the good works what the Lord wants to do in me for making me completed as an image of Him. It is possible in the truth and His power. Praise the Lord, Almighty God!!

When I learn not taking through the slide from a famous college, I surprised at their preparation for not taking and studying. Sleep, food, exercise habits and belief should be controlled all. I thought I need to be prepared to concentrate to our eternal purpose. Therefore I will not be afraid of any circumstances. God gives us many new and challengeable situations and chances lately. Most of them come through several activities in G. I am totally in a training course of God. I am trying to pass the test from God in faith by His power. I thank God for giving power of faith, and I will concentrate to the completion of the Great Mission without any disturbing stuff.

First 6 months reflection – Beautiful way of the Lord

I praise the Lord for moved me to be here and teaching so many precious things! I can not measure how much I have blessed for six months. It was a course takes six months for English. We just came here thinking one thing that it is the time to be spread to other nations, so that we need to be able to communicate and unit with not only Korean, but also English speakers. But God has retrained us as World mobile missionaries over our understanding. That was what God had given in our hearts when we prayed in Korea preparing this ESL course before left Korea. We could never know what would be the plan for learning English on Saipan. We did not know anything about here even Judy, our teacher. God required us to step on the way which we have never walked on. Each one of new situations made me look up the goodness of God with whole heart again. It have awaked my soul and revealed the place where my life of faith is.

Before I started grammar study, I had to destroy some knowledge of English that I had built until 3 years ago and rebuild foundation of English. It was very hard to make the foundation firm as much as I cursed my own pronunciation I have had in Korea. I have had hard time that requires daily patience and faith on Him. Even if I practiced phonics every day and night, yet sometimes any improving does not seen from me. But if I have pure faith in the Lord like little child's, it would be on the easy way that I do not need to do anything but just follow. God let me look at myself who am proud of worldly values, fear being rebuked, have hard mind, not listen to any discipline, not acknowledge God and am afraid of people in many tired circumstances. The truth of Gospel was not realized in my personal life as my life even though I thought it has done. I could not say anything but confess my shames.

But the hard time was God's grace for me, because I have misunderstood that I have grew up much, now. I thought that I have already been experienced many things in truth and have already got many knowledge of God. The greatest grace of God is leading me to convict my sin, repent, and make up my mind. I was not able to know some parts of my life that the scripture can not move it. The Rota outreach was God's gift for not only learning and speaking English, but also making me humble. In love, God show me a great witness of Him and challenged me. Of course speaking English became more natural to me when I speak it in Rota Island. But one thing getting clear as I learn English is that this is not for my honor, but for the God's work toward whole world.

The most important thing is not how much I use English language well, but what I do with that. The Lord wants me just be faithful to Him. Even at a small day, I want to be sincere because the Lord called me to live the small day. The one who called me to follow Him and gives me every single faith and strength for obedience is the Lord Jesus Christ. I have made my mind not to think other things except the purpose that God gave me. I have fixed on my eyes the day that Jesus will come again and my Jesus Christ.

I pray for guiding me to be a solder of Christ more. I expect God who will lead me jump in any situation with faith because I believe that I can not do anything by my own ability but He can do everything. And I please to help any God's working and praying. He will reap the fruit after we sow day by day.

Had fun on Saturday

The member of jamboree got together again after had pauses two times, on last Saturday. A one-year-old baby’s birthday party was held at a beach. On the way to the beach, a man who was driving asked the phone number through the car window. Miss HT let him know G phone number. He was with his son beside him. The little boy’s birthday must be much closed. “How can he ask us phone number? He does not know us at all.” I was surprised. But I could know that he could know her the coordinator of the jamboree because of her making up as a clown.
“They requires jamboree with this way, it is very fun.” I thought. I thought everyone in Saipan knows this. But they could not do.

The birthday party was supposed to start at noon, but it was delayed again and again even though somebody was making barbecue when we arrived at that beach. We were waiting for the host of that party making balloon toy for some children. (There were two students whom Grace and I have been in same classroom for a month. :D) The birthday baby’s mother apologized to us for being late. We smiled to them and told them it would be okay.

We could not have typical C. Jamboree. We have just had a couple of games, puppet songs and face painting. Shortly after the party began, they let us go. Today’s party was very short to me because they started it late. The baby’s father wanted us bring some food but Miss HT. rejected politely and we did not.

That might challenge the baby’s parents. (I heard the word ‘challenge’ from Miss HT.’s saying, but it is not clear. I just guessed it.)

I am not to sure what was why she refused. I do not know what God has put in their mind through us. But I do not care. I will just obey. Even though I tried doing my best as a helper with anxiety, I am sure God has done things He wants. And the next time I attend, I will do everything with full of confidence of the Lord. I want to share our life and communicate with them by faith only. I won’t care how much I can speak English well, but will care how much God has spoke to me so far.

In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matt. 5:16)

Leaving the classroom

One day, I was watching first graders attending class sitting back of classroom. Everytime the teacher asked questions, they raised their hands enthusiastically. When teacher pointed one boy, he hesitated to answer, for he did not know the answer. If teacher asks something they know, some students raised their hands stamping their feet. I could not repress to laugh. I could know why they act like that. Since I know them all one by one, I could discover the characteristic of each one of them from their reactions. Even though I could not know them perfectly, a month with them helped me to know and love them. Now I came to know how I can help the teacher and students.

But we have just five days on a week, in additional, we were going to have WMM meeting on Friday. Teacher asked me for the last day a lot. But I could not let her know before the last day; even she wanted to make it special. I was so sorry to face the last week, and to be late to tell our plan. I could let her know about it on the last day. The teacher was planning a little party for us, so she wrote that the students need to bring extra snack on the board. The party was canceled.

I could say good bye my cute students, then they gave me big hugs each. I was sooooooo happy. I was so sorry to cancel the good bye party to teacher, but that happiness let everything sank.

I want to see them as soon as they go home. But praying for them is better than missing them. Saying bye to them was like that I let go them to unknown, dangerous world. Because I do not know who their parents are, what matters they will face forth in their future are even whether their parents are Christians or not. So I had to command them to the Lord who knows each one of them all their life in this earth. I have made small circled cards for them by today. I have written my prayer and wish toward them on it. God will work in their hearts and minds. I have pleased to help G through which God is doing his own works.

The children still like to see me when I am nearby them in the school. But I thought that I need not to see them without the teacher for her and them. Yet I am still missing them.

Teacher-aide was so hard as much as I must eat snack everyday but it was the gift from God. Praise the Lord for He has broke my thoughts, own energy and plan but used me in His way with giving humble, poor heart in me. The lovely kids are in my heart and prayers.

The Lord’s class in Rota

I had never known that we would spend three weeks in Rota, but now I am sorry for we have to go back to Saipan already. Could I write everything so precious that God gave me in Rota?

God has shown a witness of prayer and faith to me.

Let me tell two big things. First, loving and trusting others in Christ. Second, the life of faith what is depended on the Lord by prayer. I really appreciate God for leading me trust Pastor and open my heart to him. But devil attacked us 3 team members with a problem. The problem was a trouble to confirm our flight tickets delayed. In this situation we have faced, Pastor did never be shaken. He smiled and led us to pray together immediately. He told us that God can work more since we are going to stay in Rota one day more. So I have got to admit that it was God's permission. Then, I have made up my mind with prayer to trust God who is in Shalom and Rebekah in any moment. God has prevailed over it. Afterhand, the Lord changed the relationship of us 4 to be one for about a week. Hallelujah!

Pastor, a sample of the life of prayer and faith, was the witness whom God has shown to me. Actually, it was the first time to meet such a witness of prayer like him. The Lord has made my heart soften and let me know the fact that I am so weak to live by faith, through him. And the Lord has taught me how to step in faith for tiny parts of my life in detail and has poured His warm love to me everyday.

"Why have I sinned by failing to pray?" I have asked myself, but I have not had any hard time with that question. The prayer was being soaked by my life like pastor, living with him. The Lord has let me know the fact that everything is His deed and everyone is a soul who is more precious than heaven and earth to one who prays. So do I, now. I want to commend every single tiny thing to the Lord, and I do it. I am being replied all the time. My life is not mine, but His. Hallelujah!

My strength is prayer, the love of God and pleasure of my soul.

When I was in trouble at first of this out-reach with new conditions and fear of speaking English, I could know that I need to pray. I was able to know that I need to give my whole heart to the Lord. (Of course, I did not think about myself, "Why am I doing this?". Since the hard time should be to adjust. ) I have recognized how much grace I have been wrapped by feeling God's love. I appreciated God for that He let me pray and let my soul revive.

The Lord gives me a victory but Satan does not stop to attack me. I have a weakness that being concentrated to a 'person'. It is a dangerous weakness that can hide the Lord behind the person from me. I have loved pastor too much to wear in Shalom and Becky's shoes. I have been jealous them sometimes. But the Lord has let me repent my crooked heart and even though there are so many wrongs in the reacts of our team members, He has let me not have any problem for that in love through prayer for them. God has done.

I have been tired many times, but pastor's precious sharing has made my soul rejoice even though it was long. The length of sharing was not a matter. The rejoicing has swallowed every tired thing so that I could keep rejoicing. I wanted to have the time we can get together in Rota more. I praise The Lord who gave me a happy time.

The Kingdom of God had been coming to this small island.

There were society and lives of the people of Rota. There were T and S's sincere faithfulness, devotion and prayer of tears. Hallelujah! We have met T's friends who are related with T for nine years, and have shared our testimony. We prayed for them with T.

When I look at them with the mind of God, I was almost Rota missionary. It was really amazing that they are growing in Christ little by little. T let us know details that he is praying and sharing Jesus to them. The heart of God was letting him love, have every single soul in his heart, and bring them to God in prayer. Then, the saving passion started to burn in me.

There is an obvious truth, and the day of the Lord's judgment is getting closer now. How can we lead them to the Lord? It was a huge shock, touching my heart and joy to see T who lead them without giving up but with patience, wisdom and faith. I have learned the foundation of missionary as a new missionary. I appreciated for S who is being with T in the bold faith in God who has called them even it is hard to her. Rota Island needs them very much. I am praying for the kingdom of God in sister S.

Wherever I would go, I will trust the Lord who is in every missionaries as well as I have done to pastor T. God is already leading me live to serve the Nations. I will worship the Lord through all my life. T is a prayer and a faithful servant who live along the Bible in the truth in everywhere. I am sure that the Lord will live His life in me and will do His will as well as in pastor T.

English, what is just a kind of language, is nothing. Because it has been just a tool that I can use as I share my heart, listen, get together and love in Rota. Speaking English became more natural to me because I have shared with them in love.

This language is just a tool for unity and accomplishing Father's will. And, English is fun. I have got to know the fact that English is not for me but for those who can communicate with me in only English, so that I need to learn the way of speaking used by them usually and to learn the pronunciation clean to hear. I appreciate God. Learning a language is not learning just a language simply but learning American culture for speaking English. For that, I need to learn it humbly by only faith. I have to have the faith of a little child, for everything.

I believe that God will use my English in amazing way. Praise the Lord!!

In His Perfect Hands, 3rd week

Unlikely two weeks that have passed, this week was not long. For last second week of August, the truth that I have to catch was getting clean with blogging. Blogging is not just one of things to do, but a diary, a reflection, a recording the Lord's grace and a helper that helps me to make my mind firm. It helped me to walk into the belief forward God's working on last Sunday. On Monday, I went into the 1^st grade's classroom with praying.

Lovely students have become lover of us, Joses and me. Now, they greet us every morning, "Good morning, Mr. Joses~!" Of course, we know that they want to get the praise from their homeroom teacher by greeting us loudly. But we love it very much. I have adjusted to move along their time table. We have the PE time 3 times on a week. They need to wear the PE uniform from morning if they have PE time.

Especially, in this week I started to attend to the prayer meeting with G church. On last Sunday sermon, Pastor R said, "If you believe that this island needs nothing but prayer, come to the prayer meeting at TUE, WED, THR and SAT morning." I remember that he mentioned about this prayer meeting when we met in the china house before. (Even though I did not understand what he means.) He must have been planned this prayer meeting at the beginning of this semester. So we (WSA) decided to attend this meeting. The first day that I attend to it at 6 o'clock in G sanctuary, God reminded me the vine and branch in John 15:5.

Disappointment in myself is the great blessing from God. Since this blessing leads me to know how great God's grace for me is. It lets me think about the faith that has to be on His greatness calmly. I appreciate God for He has put me lower and made me humble.

I do not feel tired in most cases usually. I have a pleasure about English always. Especially, I like English. But these two weeks lately were different very much. I was very exhausted. Unconditional unity and serving were not easy as well as saying it. It needed to unite more with teacher because of beginning of a semester. So, even though it looks like that we are helping the teachers, actually it is an adventure for teachers. Over these two weeks I have needed to go to sleep as soon as back home. I have expected that I can be with the teacher all day long helping and share many things involving my gospel, yet sometimes she wanted us leave for our home early after school. We could not talk about our faith in God even my gospel. I had been finding some opportunity that I can share the gospel to kids but their school schedule was so tight.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

The fear, disturbance and impatience were still in my heart as I pray in the Tuesday morning. But God reminded me this verse. God's work is not accomplished by human's great ability or talent, but by only the Lord's way and power. We can see it in His time. It requires a lot of patience, faith and sincerity to me. So I should just be still, do what is commanded by God. I do not need to do a huge and awesome job for His work, for I am nothing but a branch.

I have awarded that I have had hard time in G for two weeks since I have tried to help them with my own wisdom, characteristic and an even temper. I thought I can do this in August without any big difficulty. But I need to get up because of the Lord's power every morning. For the Lord's power, I can attend to the prayer meeting with English speakers even though I could make them bored by my long, slow and stammering prayer. For the Lord's power, I can get in the classroom. For the Lord's power, I can jump in anything unexpected no matter what not by faith in myself, but by the faith in only God.

Then, I have started to be vibrant. If they do need me, I move, unless, I do not move. As the Israel in the desert, I move when God says, unless I do not move. God wants His servant who is quick at nothing but His voice. Being still for the Lord's voice is not being loose. It is being prepared by Him.

I could be free to do anything that God gives me in the classroom on the belief that I am filling with His power, fully. I am glad to know God who let me live as well as I have His precious life in me not only in classroom, but in everywhere I will be faithful in my rest lifetime. Praise the Lord!

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalms 126:5

The Second Week in Christ

The second week has been started. I could not think what would happen tomorrow. The partner, teacher, schedule and class are still not changed, but every day I face a new day. Yet God led me to be prepared to expect newer God in G through weekend.

Many difficulties were waiting for me in the relationship with the first grades. A boy said that he can get everything by money. A few days later, he said that he would give me two pennies if I help him to know the answers for spelling test. He is just ‘six years old’. I was angry very much as I faced his value, but it was telling me how much they need our prayer.

Teacher asks us help for class time only, and we eat lunch with students. We could not have enough time to have a good fellowship with the teacher, but she seems to know our purpose. She is the oldest teacher in G and had taught the kinder garden 5 for a long time. I like to see her share about her calling to her student. The students are only 6 years ole, but they can understand the important things. One day, she said that we want to follow God by helping them to the students. I was so pleased to learn that my heart could be known to her even we do not talk each other a lot.

One thing what gave me a heavy heart was that I cannot make sure what is happening in the heart of everyone in class. I am just started to understand their emotions, behaviors, rules and lives. Teacher says “Thank you!” to us when the class over every day but sometimes I could not know whether we are helping properly or not.

God has helped me to believe Him as the one who can everything that He wants to do. Even though I cannot know the details, He is working in the classroom. I have obeyed as much as He let me recognize. Some way more batter can be there to help them. I could not know what it is. But I appreciate God to lead me to know how to help this much.

I expect that I would be more vibrant winning against the tiredness. I want to help them with perfect love and prayer. I step along God’s new time table in the school everyday without fear.

I expect that God would be glorious among us

It was second time to give jamboree but I was nervous. I wondered that I did my duty completely on last Saturday. There was a heavy heart that I must not miss witnessing the gospel before everyone in my heart. Because I thought that there is lack of saying message of God, yet God let me know witnessing for Him is just little obedience, today.

It could be hard to MS.HT this week because she is discipline teacher of elementary school alone. She was sick, so miss. L, Grace and I three went to the Aqua Resort. It was two children’s birthday.

Preparing the jamboree was not so hard to carry stuff into the party hall like last time, for some people helped us. The jamboree was started after eating. The children’s mother and sister led this party including the Coconut Jamboree with microphone in front of the hall. Their father was the worship leader of a church, so most of the invited were Philippines of the G members. There were children more than last time.

It was very sunny and hot day, yet we were in cool hall. Nevertheless, we were very busy and tired. We have played the puppets 5-6 times and have painted face painting during the people in this party enjoying many games. The simple fact that they have had a lot of fun made me happy. I have tried drawing face painting as a first time. I was supposed to share about Jesus to the children, yet I could share just one of two things since I had to concentrate to draw carefully. Most of them were Sunday school students, but I wanted to pray for them. It was almost a Sunday school. :)

I was sad little bit since the party was very very luxury. I surprised to learn they spend lots of money for even one-year-old baby’s birthday party. Christians have to spend their money for really important thing, the kingdom of God.

God lets me be in their community and leads me to know them little by little with joining this jamboree. I am happy to know that God is working through our obeying even though we cannot make sure everything because of language and culture. Father, be glorious among every community in Saipan also!

A Blessing has came to me in love

A semester has started. The first grade students needed to adjust at so many things because they just came from kinder garden. Joses and I, two Koreans came in the classroom with discipline teacher at the first day, were one of new things that the students faced.

We could not catch what we should help in the classroom on first day, but God has led us to know what we should do. Even though the homeroom teacher had misunderstood us as the helper for part time, when we let her know that we were supposed to be in the classroom following her schedule she appreciated us very much and we did, too. And she gave us very good opportunity in her class. We guided some students who do not understand what the class is learning. One of them could not write in English what he heard. Another one was not be able to add.

I have been with girls when they go to the restroom, have checked their math sheets, and have eaten with them in lunchtime. They are so lovely!!!

But I have had a hard time, too. Teaching math in English was not easy even it was very simple adding. Something harder than it was that some boys had not admitted Joses and I as another teacher. They had ignored me and obeyed to only their homeroom teacher. It is very natural but if you have not been the sub teacher in a classroom, you could not understand what I felt. I did not know how to teach them having respect for everyone in the school yet I have prayed for that I can stand their teasing. They started to admit me as their helper after three days.

I am learning with first grade. I had to practice the national anthems of CNMI and USA because they sing it in every morning. I am also memorizing merrily the mission statement.

The cute students are in my prayer. There is a problem boy in our class. No one can stop him. He does not fear anybody. I sensed that he has many hurts in his heart from his family for he is just six years old. But I am asking wisdom to God for that I can lead him without wound.

I really appreciate God for moving teachers’ heart and open us their classrooms and many parts of assembly. We are in a great blessing not for our circumstance, but for His guiding us to be in everywhere by faith in God.
I will obey to God when He wants me to have faith founded on Him in many circumstances.

Eunice' the first assisting day

It was raining hard in the morning, but the C. Jamboree was never canceled. Everything was new to Grace and me. I did not know what I should help and what would happen in the Jamboree. So I appreciated God because I must step at everything by faith.
From Joseph dropped us, the marching of faith started. Some people in the school teacher’s lounge guided us very kindly, everyone we met were angels of God.

I was not able to give great help, since I have never played something makes children happy like a puppet show. I have just carried much stuff we need and helped them with small things. I just cleaned up the stuff for sand from beach. But the one thing made me glad is that God led us to assist church and Christian school in Christ’s love. I thought I have not been prepared but God has prepared everything perfectly. I don’t have to worry or be afraid of anything.

We enjoyed the Jamboree in the birthday party of five-year-old girl at the Aquarius Beach. The birthday princess’ parents were rich. Some people were cooking barbecue from this morning, all tables were wrapped with pretty patterned table sheets and there was a 3-floor-cake with all of Disney princesses on it. Her parents give her a birthday party like this yearly. We played four puppets along the chorus or made some balloons toys.

I was surprised to learn that it needs so much stuff and that just a pretty young teacher was serving these all activity mainly playing a clown. She was very busy herself. (of course others helped her, today.) I was very happy to see her and her school reach out to the people need the Gospel though there was no preaching. They do not require a lot of money for payment but wants only to share delight, grace and good news with them.

God opened the parents’ hearts today. During some games were going, many parents have enjoyed them. This serving of the school were impressed them. The mother of the birthday girl was very appreciated us. I pray for that God sows her soften heart with seeds of Gospel of truth. I pray for her daughter would come to see the Lord who does marvelous things upon her life.

The Lord has taken away my fear far and gave me a heart that wants to serve people of God with anything much more. WMM’s motto, uniting and serving are not done by only working hard, yet God achieves His work through us work hard. As we are working with the heart of God, He works through our prayers that pray for His will to be done. I love this 2nd semester!



There is no fear in LOVE. But perfect LOVE drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in LOVE. – 1 John 4:18

God's Power is made Perfect in Weakness

Praise the Lord!! Opening my weaknesses is not easy, but my Lord’s power is revealed in my weaknesses. I have had a hard time for about two weeks, so that I was able to learn about learning attitude from God. I was a caretaker of kitchen. (All of WSA members cook at every meal two by two, but our kitchen needs a caretaker because everyone uses kitchen room.) But I'm not a caretaker now.

While I have cared our kitchen, I had to learn many things to keep food fresh and kitchen clean even I'm not too young to know what to do. I didn't like it. My plan for meal had to be changed everyday. I discovered myself not wanting to be concerned about any duty. Especially, I didn’t want to accept different ways by very small part of caring kitchen. Because Satan outwitted me to believe in my right’s being hurt without a good reason. Satan wants to me to keep my personal preference.

Though I didn’t know what God was speaking to me, I came to repent soon. People around me can be seen to me with their faults, but I can be trained to obey only God as I stand before God only. In ANY situations, God is telling me. If I can’t hear His message, I can figure out that the problem is not things surrounding me, is my rebellious temper. I appreciate God guiding me to pray and obey God humbly.

We’re happy as we obeying God only. Through a decision, I can obey God in delight of my soul. I pray to deny myself daily and control myself to follow His mighty will.


Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.
Let a righteous man strike me-it is a kindness; let him rebuke me – it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it. Yet my prayer is ever against the deeds of evildoers.
Psalm 141:3-5

Something God let me learn today

God showed me that He answers the prayer of faith.
I saw that a believer's prayer has been accomplished everytime. It was very definite prayer. It contained small parts of human life. But God let me see that He does as those prayers. Of course, God let me experience His answer to me, "yes." It was really good experience.
Today, I thought about why God accomplish such a detail things. It is not a matter if what prayer contains not to be accomplished. I mean, it is not the most important thing. The most important thing to God is saving people.
But I realized that it is important to God that accomplishing His children's detail prayers, because He letting us know Him through everything especially prayer.
God answers our prayer always. Only a few of us know that. Only to someone who believe that God would answer.
This simple fact has made me surprise. I thought about myself. "Do I always trust God and wait for Him with patience ?" Several moments that I couldn't patient and moved down my eyes came up in my mind. If I waited more, I would taste delight with knowledge about who God is. I also appreciated God to great oppurtunity that I can know Him more through my prayer.
Neverthless what I did, the most important thing is "God is answering our prayer and it can be discovered to people who standing the rock of faith in Him."

The Humbleness of God

I meditated Psalm 132 - I'm on Psalm for 5 months from Korea, An Heung WMM international center.

Verse 2 says, "He(David) swore an oath to the Lord."
Verse 11 says, "The Lord swore an oath to David, a sure oath that he will not revoke," too.

I saw a witness of God(David) in chapter 132, but I surprised for God swore an oath to David like him. He doesn't need to be bind to anything, anybody. He is the Mighty One.

David loved God, so he wanted to build something God's dwelling place. I can understand David's oath to God. I want to eager more for only the Lord always.
But if there wasn't God's everlasting love, my desire and love for God can't be.
He swore an oath to me even He is God. How much He loves us! Only He doesn't revoke His promise. Only He is deserve to swear. I can be faithful because of His faithfulness.

He became a human and accomplished His oath because His love and humbleness.
He answers my prayer, so I can be like Him with His power. I need to just pray and depend on the Lord.

Trusting as the moments fly,

Trusting as the days go by;

Trusting Him whate’er befall,

Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Eunice - My Gospel

Eunice’ Gospel

I praise my father God. He has guarded me and led me to here for all of my life. He has used everything surrounded my life to lead me for His will and love. I was lost for a long time, but now am found. I was blind, but now I see. I was a dirty woman, but now I am a white bride of Jesus Christ.
I was born in 1984 losing my Heavenly Father. He knew me before my birth and has waited me for long time even after my life was started. I’m the eldest in my Christian family. My parents were sincere Christians. Yes, I went to church every Sunday following my parents but I didn’t know who Jesus Christ is.
Growing, the word of God has been sown in my soul little by little. God led me to be serious at preaching of pastor, the Bible. But the real reason that I liked to go to church was satisfaction of my desire to be loved and be praised as a good, pretty Christian girl among members of church. Much acknowledge of the Bible had been repeated in the Sunday school every year were something just for my honor to me. I was a really pity human. Because my path was toward the hell even I was a Christian girl and there was a opened door of salvation in front of me. I had never known it.
In my life, there wasn’t any accident or any sad happen. I couldn’t go to enjoy this amusing world because of fear about that the world would destroy me. My life was clean at least in a view of man. But God knows everything. How furious is the energy of sin in my heart! There is nothing but the Bible can let us know what the sin really is. I had never known. I just thought myself a good person, not sinner, however I came to revealed that a hypocrite before men.
After time as teenager, I went a short mission trip with team members in my church to a Muslim country. God led us to meet people, to be a friend with them, to share many Bibles and Gospel in even dangerous situations in that country. I surprised at that God is alive. It started to change my mind for coming in His presence. I came to like to read the Bible, to worship Him in the church and to know Jesus. I started to want to live according to the word of God and I discovered that I had two desires. One was that loving to live for Christ, another was that loving to take my honor from men. And then I came to know how I had lived for myself with saying, “It’s for God”, myself. Desires want to kill, pity on myself, judge, take everyone’s heart, despise, the lusts of the flesh, pride and disguising filled in the heart of Eunice who living for only myself. I couldn’t say that I loved Jesus because I knew that sometimes I love this world more than Him. I was not a pure bride of Him. I couldn’t destroy this dirty man in myself. I tried to leave these sins, but I loved them so much, I was those sins. It was my skin. I was too exhausted to destroy myself.
In that time, God showed me what the cross of the Christ was. It was a place for death. Christ gave Himself to unit with me and to die with me. He already accomplished this upon the cross. I came to realize that old man had already died. To believer, there is only freedom and new life. My life was not mine anymore, it was Jesus’ from that on!! He saved me from great perish, even I didn’t know who He is, even I rebelled Him before His face. Praise the Lord for His everlasting love!!!

Now, in my life that He lives in me is not shaken like before. Devotion to God is the starting of glorious happiness perfectly. There is only the time to know Him more and more. There is only the life that to be ripen fruit of Christ.

A day that God lead us

We are really don't know that what is the schedule for today. Even till in this morning, we did not know that we will go to songsong village and a village near of it. Today's schedule was very special.
I was tired and sleepy little bit at many visiting and strong sunshine, but it is exciting to expect God through happening to us.
God send us to believers and unbelievers, let us to talk, sing, worship and pray with them. God lead us to encourage them with sharing our understanding God. We met local missionaries. (I was very surprised that another missionaries who praise God like us are in same area.) We were sinners, and are still weak. They were same with us. So we shared the calling of God, how we can not live without Him and how wonderful is God's work that we looking forward. That became a encouragement from God to them.
God protected us to go and come with a few gas in car. We prayed on the way to that village, God answered us. He protected us by the time we stopped by a gas station. Everytime we pray to our father, God. When we go to meet somebody to share our gospel or small experience about God, we pray. When we finished talking each other in our house, we pray. Even at small sharing, we pray and give thanks to God.
My precious Lord is teaching me to commit Him detail without worrying or hidding. Everytime I aware this, I am giving thanks to God. Nobody can shake me, and I do not depend on anybody. Just I trust and expect.
The missionary's life is very calm, not unique. Missionary does not care how long unbelievers take time till they become children of God. Missionary just stay on God's will by His time. Even we do not understand whole things, but we want to do God's will. Because He is perfect. He does not do fault. He stays beyond our understanding.

Thank you, Lord, my father. As pastor cared us detailedly with backpack, umbrellas, telephone numbers and water of bottom when we come from store on foot, You cares me. I will cast burdens to you everyday. Thank you for giving us an awesome vacation in Rota.

Givethanks to God in every circumstances, Amen

I thank God for he had planned this out-reach. I have never been to the beautiful island like Rota. I have not thought about the beauty of Rota deeply until yesterday. Because I was stiffen by everything new. So I said to my family in Saipan through Rebekah, “Practice speaking English more! It’s not joke! Unless do that, you will feel regret at here.” But now I know that the important point is not my English speaking ability.
The important thing is trusting God and loving God and my neighbor as well. Actually, reminding that ‘I have to speak in English and preparing something to speak English well is not able to help me. It just makes me stiffen. If I have some message to say, it would be spoken with any English word. I have started to understand what was it that Judy said my mind and message will be expressed through just one word.
We visited a farm in Rota. There were star apples, avocados, pineapples, papayas, lemons, raspberries and ivas. We prayed for hosts of that farm before we leave there. God gave me a desire them live in Glory of God. I didn’t care using correct sentences, but I could pray in English more well as a first time. So I have fixed my eyes of soul to God hardly.
Don’t be afraid, Eunice! You don’t have to attention to how much have you get batter in speaking English. English is just good tool for good fellowship and communication.

p.s. Dear my good teacher and friend Judy and my family in Saipan, I can aware God’s answer for your prayer. I miss you as you miss us. We are having a great fellowship. Of course, it wasn’t from first time we landed in Rota. But God has prevailed and God is working good things now. God is good all the time. Amen. I love you guys! Let’s do everything by only faith until we see again!

God has exalted my horn

You have exalted my horn lke that of a wild ox; fin oils have been poured upon me. My eyes have seen the defeat of my adversaries; my ears have heard the rout of my wicked foes.
Psalm 92:10-11

My heart is full of praise of God. God leads us in front of the cross. He let the poor in spirit to see His death with Christ at the cross. Then He leads him to throw big or small things of his life that prevent from following Jesus. The truth is realized in my life.

When I read this verses(Ps. 92:10-11) two days ago, I awared that I trampling the Satan, the cobra down. By that day, I have felt like I lost sometimes I had wrath or couldn't understand my family in Christ and circumstances lately. I have awared that I did not trust God in people and my life. I had known what I should obey but I could not. However if God put me on here now, everything of my life would contain best gift of God, because He is good.

God has started to guide me to uncover my selfish thought since I asked Him help. He has led me to rebuild trust in the Lord of another people. He has changed me make my mind. It's really small event but God draws me to taste His power and majesty even through my tiny life.

I do not afraid any attack of Satan because God can chaned it to be a good thing. The truth is leading me.

Precious word of God

I had heard Paul K. Washer's sermon on last Sunday noon time. We have knew this media through Jung Hwa, Kim. It was the sermon of a assembly of youth in 2002.

I thanked God for His speaking to me through it. He said, "Don't compare yourself with other people. Compare you with the scripture!!", "Listen carefully what the words says really is!". I reflected myself again by this time. How often do I read the Bible? How precious the Bible to me is! Yes, it is truth forever! It lets my soul lives.

I love to be honest to God's word, but I havent's spent my time recently, busy days. Then Father God's heart in my mind had been getting cold.

God raised me to be honest before Him once again. He has made me my mind to look foward only Him. I'm glad to walking in His way by faith. He instructs and teaches me.

God's everlasting love

God has loved me for uncountable years. He has been loving me by the moment. He had started to love me before the creation of world.

He had been loving me when I was still a sinner, so He sent His one and only son, Jesus.
He will love me continuously. He is going to do great deeds because His unfailing love. He will love me forever joyfully. While I am passing through the valley of tears, He will love me. He will be loving me even when I stand before a roaring floor.

He loves all of menkind same to me. At the end of the world, He will have been loving me. By the day, He will have preached His love to all nations.

A prayer of faith

"Restore us, O Lord God Almighty; make your face shine upon us, that we may be saved." Psalm 80:19 (A psalm of Asaph)

Asaph cried out to his God. The people of God, Israel was in pain because they broke the promise of God. They couldn't see any light while God has been rebuked them. The darkness was filling that time. There is no one who seeks God.

But Asaph prayed with a faith. I imagined that they would felt like God has just been angried and they would scared God.

Even in dark period, Asaph believed that God's faithfullness. He trusted in the Lord's unfailing love. So he prayed for a salvation from heaven. God promised himself to Israel and he do not be waved at that people's treachery.

Hallelujah! I can do a prayer of faith. I have to do a prayer of faith anytime. This is why I always get God's answer. This is why I can pray in the peace and the sureness. I can see wonderful God through prayer even I can not see Him with my eyes.

God would be waiting for lsrael praying this prayer. Asaph's prayer was perfect prayer. Because he knew the heart of God. God will never give up his people, His inheritance. He can not give up His glory! Let's be strong in faith in Him!!

community of faith

I have been living in a community for three years. At first, I got shocked very much in 'our' life. It was very thankful for receiving me in the name of Jesus without any condition. I had to change all of my value system from that time. I was confused. I had to reset definitions of everything to just live with others. For a while, I had mistaked that what I must learn is a visible life style of this community.

God who guides me wanted to me know not some human's rules, but the Lord Jesus Himself. The life of faith is not limited by a unique, easy-discrible life style. It is not a action. It is not a shape. Things revealed is not made by something visible. The Lord knows my thoughts. He knows my faith in my mind. He knows how I devout whole I am and I explain a faith in Him. He changed me on the cross. He revived me to I am who just He created on the cross. It is not can be sure through a temporary evidence.

God wants to me trust in Him who in every families in Christ. He is living spirit so He let me know him through relationship. Once I did not understand why we should have faith life in a community. I had emphasized this thought to another people, but I did not know the reason really. Having relationship, we are happy, sad, excited, angry, warm, exhused, dispressed and anguished. During we have many relationships, we look for how to obey Jesus in our life. We get worring leads to salvation and leaves no regret. We realize what is denying myself and living in Him. We guess how Father, Holy Spirit, Son loved us. First all things, it give us Father's heart. Whoever has Father's heart can live Jesus' life. Jesus' every life will be revealed to world through our life, unfailing love, unconditional unity.

God let me know him more and more. He protects me from real danger. He leads me to have a true faith in His sight. It is not easy to live with various people, but I saticefy. Satan gave me a desire to shut my mind to other person with some worthy reason at once, today. I could not make up my mind immediatly, but I rejoice in trusting God at even such a circumstance. God dwells in each of us. He holds all of us with his marvelous power. We are all children of God. All of us are the pure bride of Him. I appreciate to God wholeheartedly. There is no more success or failure in the victorious Christ.

Father, I will be honest in presence of You. Continue to help me. Your will be done in my life. Your work will be accomplish in us. Yes, You are Almighty God. I will stand before You every moment. I don't give up to trust and wait. My enemies, satan and his folloers will be perished. They will be destroyed. His head had broken already by your death, Jesus. You are alone God of true power!

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.
See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.
At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
So even though I wrote to you, it was not on account of the one who did the wrong or of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are.
(1Corinthians 7:10-12)

Your love endures forever

I have not visited my little sister's mini homepage for a while. I had visited her mini homepage before dinner yesterday. (In Korea, people almost has this in 'cyworld' web site. It is called 'minihompee'. The user of this minihompee can explain oneself through photos, pictures, articles, media...etc. Once I had it, but after Jesus became my good news, I deleted it because this homepage made me pursue my own glory.)

There were my sister's photos. She is student of art college. Her major is graphic design. She looked very busy with many assignments her professor gave. I have known that she has drowing hard to be the best designer. It is not easy to be No. 1 of a field in the world. I remained a message in her mini hompee. I said her she would very tired. I said we have to toil painfully in this world to gain something but God loves her because just her being.

'Loving without reason'... The Lord loved me like this. Can I follow His love?
I have doing this love by now by His power. I can say that this is possible by faith in Him. I do not say "I can't." for Jesus's commandment to us to love. I hope my sister to know this love of God. I hope her loves her Lord more than her life. I hope I also live as witness of this love of God.

Starting to study grammar...

I am very glad to start grammar. It will be very busy to memorize large amount everyday, but the delight to know something may very big. When I was in middle school, high school and university in Korea, I had used a lot of grammars but I have many things which I know almostly but not clearly. I thought that I know it but it was not mine really. I hope to learn grammars exactly through this opportunity.

I am uneasy a little bit about studying phonics on Monday only because I need to practice phonics daily. I have to practice myself from now but having been more relaxed, I thought I should make something I have learn harder. It is exciting. Steps to new field make me to be afraid sometimes but make me to look foward God's good will and wonderful recovering. I have thought that I have been learning a lot of things but, I do not know very much yet. This is really precious time to me that available to know how tiny I am with many serving for us from families of GNCS, GCA.

God will have done everything!

God will do it!

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one"(John 17:22)

After I read this word from Judy's blog post, this word has been presented in my mind, because when God create all things, He gave us this glory. He created us to enjoy the glory of being one with Him and others. This glory is the greatest glory revived by the gospel of the cross.

I do not know why I have to had to spend so a lot of time for thinking about being one. I think because I feel not us to be one completely.

What is the definition of complete unity? I asked myself. Is it not an unfailing love between she(or he) and me? Why is it possible partly? Why can't I in this love with everyone? Because of something I look for in him/er, difference? do I not have Jesus's love? Because of my narrow mind, prejudice, bad memories?
I know, but are that all? Is there any more key reason, fundamental reason and true answers? Do I too sensitive?

There were too many questions in my mind. I had have to find a solution, unless I would be crazy. I hoped God tells me in our prayer meeting in Saturday evening. God who knows this, answerd me.

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. ( John 4:23 )

Now is the time to worship in John 4:23! And He commands me to know that I am the true worshiper. Jesus knows my anguishing points and my history. He tells me to believe that everything I have went throuth was in His allowance like He lefted toward Galilee because He believed it to God's will.

He was guided by heavenly Father naturaly. Jesus was tired in Samaria, so he sat down by the well, so he met a Samaritan woman. It was God's leading. God wants all of my heart. He tells me that give my heart to Him through every events. He signs me through even bad event which I do not believe it to God's work.

Believe simply, and worship wherever you are. Be a most true worshiper. The reason of that I can worship God and exalt Him is He is holding any circumstances and do not fail.

I praise God for let me kneel before Him!
I will worship Him in spirit and truth so that He will do His work in me.

I praise love of my Lord

When I on wednesday evening service, I thought about heart of God with listening Joseph's sharing. "I am satisfied by just my Lord." God pleases this confess of us. Because He wants all of us, heart of us.

But my heart have saying, "Lord, I failed today, too." recently. I had some stress, anger and sadness in my heart from lacking my tougue's moving and uniting with my missionay family. I was sad to reject to hug others without reason, get shadow in my mind. I did not know it, but I was saying to Jesus, "I am sorry, my Lord, I failed to love, to be a witness and overcome every shadow. I am sorry, Father."

Jesus has let me know, suddenly, what is His heart like. He pleases me. He is satisfied with only my being. "I am satisfied by just you." But I could not live the life He commanded. Will He is joyful to see my disappointing appearance? Is He satisfied by me anguished? Lord guides me to realized that everytime I am overflowed with delight or strive to change my crushed mind soft, He receving my deepest heart.

I thanked God for His everlasting love and got freedom. I do not know how I solve every problems of my life. I do not know still how I can easily united with another person. I just praying to God. I believing we are on God's will. He has something want to do, to say among us and me. He is God who must accomplish His great works. His works do not be damaged.

I satisfied by His being,
in love of his satisfaction because of me.

Toward the Eternal Purpose

I want to say myself. "Move your eyes from yourself of today, look up the King majesty!" I have encouredged myself and others continually and I doing not stop to say hope but it is not a done too much.

If I think about God's glory, greatness, and wonderful plan be not know anybody, only He knows, I would can not be distressed by the results for today. I am not a life that live only a day. The Lord's plan is sure to complete. His vision is sure to realize. He is sure to succeed.

Power of God in the Calm

Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read:sc JESUS OF NAZARETH, THE KING OF THE JEWS. Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, "Do not write 'The King of the Jews,' but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews." Pilate answered, "What I have written, I have written." (John 19:19-22)


God and things belong to Him are not same with everything in this world. I have misunderstanded sometimes the splender of God and being a servant of God to visible. It has to be looks strong, different, serious, overpowering and holy to me. I really did not know what is 'the standard' of them. If so, even Jesus on the cross is not saticefy my standard. He is the Son of God and the most good servant of God, but if I know Him by my own thinking, He can not be a Messiah. I have been sure of wrong, thought that 'holiness' is morality what I had learned.

Pilate and all of world scoffed of Jesus Christ. They called him Jesus of Nazareth. Yes, the Lord can not be understood by man's consideration, but He was declared as King of mankind in Aramaic, Latin and Greek on the shabby cross in man's sight. He just died on the cross, but God accomplished His words at that time. God has silent power. His kingdom makes whole world tremple by His unvisible power - everlasting love.

A Message A White Bird Gave To Me

I saw a white bird through window practicing phonics in Good News church. She was flying around the tree. ( I want to say it, 'she'. It is very pretty bird. ) She winged very busy when she stay on a point in the air. She spread her wings stretch when she move other points. It looked very natural that she controls her wings. If she want to stay in the air she has to swing her wings quickly and if she want to move another place, she should not to swing so fast but she do not have any difficulty of it. She pay more energy willingly to stay in the air.

If I control my tongue freely like that, I would speak English more clearly and fluency. I thought like this, but it need more cost. It is strange to use this word 'cost' but, I have to pay more effort for good pronounciation. I do not like to think it necessary sometimes, but I remind everytime I practice that my efforts are stocking now. Doing not let go hope is be a stream giving endless strength on my way following my Lord.

I desire be steadfast in presence of God

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever. (Psalm 28:6-9)

Satan attacks saints everyday and every moment. Through any situations and one's weak surfaces. There was none who win upon Satan alone. Saints of God, even they are 'saints', can not overcome the attack of Satan. Why?

Our own ability is not strong as to repulse our enemies. We do not live longer, more clearly, so we have not our own ability but our Lord is our strength. But I forget it in a lot of times and am proud of myself. I have be attacked by even very small reason and happens. God want to meet me and capture me at that moments. People of God is strong and steadfast because the Lord is thire shield, fortress, horn of salvation, song of joy and shepherd. Yes, that is WHY that people of God can being in Him steadfast!

I want to do not move in His presence from a very small part of my life, always. I really welcome God's dealing with me and training for his sake. Praise the Lord for be my good pronounciations, love for others, smile and joy from everything he gave me, today!

Movie Feedback Slumdog millionaire

April 4, 2009 Saturday

I have been in India 2 times. But I didn't know the real slum of India. I have had a heavy, answerless image of India. The movie evidenced something what I have read and heard about India from books and news.

I had hurt in my heart and prayed for people of slum in India during I watching terrible scenes. There was not rest, peace and endless love. I felt very strange that I enjoying the movie with sweet snacks. There was a life that I have never gone through. I prayed for many lives which is threw on the dirty streets.

Jamal (the main acter in the movie) had a only one hope(though it was not truly good news). He did not give up to ge Latica (the actress). It was as human can not stop to find, know and love his endless father, shepherd, Lord, bridegroom, Savior and lover. Jamal did not afraid anything to get her. Jamal's heart was pour out to her absolutely.

Jamal was lifted up to a seat that most rich and popular. It reminded me that I rescued and brought from the most dirty, bad, miserable and lowly position to the glorious, wonderful, beatiful and precious position with Jesus.

It has a not good point, that is people who lived in grief dance in final scene. It said to me, "I am fine, I can live well if I have a lot of money!" without anguish that leads to truth. I think it cover eyes of the audience to can not see the good news and to think as it is nothing. Most of movies in India ends like that, but I think Jamal had great happiness as his unhappiness.

CONCLUSION
I praise God who gave us redemption can not be discribe by this story!

Good Cultural Shock

April 3, 2009 Friday

The culture of America is very different with Korean culture. I can discover this during understand speaking English.

The difference is refer to relationship especially. Korean are generally do not want someone unfamiliar. They do not know how have fellowship when they have meet first. They just talk with only their friends, and greet only 'see you later' to a new friend. They do not tell about themselves to others easily.

American are in other hand let me know his (or her) name immediatley as I introduce my name. They do not make silence during fellowship. All questions they ask are for to know each other. They are really frank, react immediatley even to stranger. They do not forget to help new people to join them.

There is only one kind of human in Korea. Korean are do not move frequently. Korean have a few chance to meet a new person, so I thing we, Korean can not make a friends with somebody well.

I think but American meet variouse people and experience variouse cases. I think they know that human is the image of God in their thinking unconsciously. I know that there are many parts has only trace of it, but it seems to there are a lot of things which I have to learn.

I like to have fellowship with foreigners. I want to know and take some polite habits. I want to share grace in me and them and encourage each other in faith in our Lord, Jesus.

When I lose my Hope, what can I do?

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.

I request up to only God. I trust in only God. When my false foundation is fallen down (like a life, my own experience) is the time to rejoice. It is the time to cut any strength from myself, to bow down to Christ Jesus. This is a wonderful grace, His special mercy!

Jesus is a fortress, a tent of rest and the one who leads me and all of men to path of life. I lean on Him only, today. I will seek and focus on the Lord. Lord calls us into front of His cross everyday. Let us go to Him, to cross that the proof of Lord's endless love with perfect satisfaction and happiness.

Lord's grace

[ A blog post for yesterday(4/1) ]

When king David had going through trial, he wanted to hide from it. His foe was his lover, friend and close person, so he was pained, afraid as much as he loved him. David might has much grief, elucidations, and words he want to pour out, but he confessed with not regarding to deeds of his evil foes ; "I call to God, and the LORD saves me."

David didn't give up or forget to seek the Lord. He attantioned to only God constantly. It was a really heavy anguish. But David became a singer that singing the song of Lord's greatd grace more. He experienced God who is savior and have waiting for him. He looked forward to God and met Him even through suffering.
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. (Proverbs 8:17)

If whoever depend on the Lord, be in Him and is God's child, will experience His grace more and love Him more even though he face any trial. It is not possible through just having some troubles. If I stand by my own strength, patience and efforts, that experience will be my worldly wisdom. The suffering can't be a good alone, but only the suffering with our Lord is gain.

The strongest man is the one lives by grace of God.

I live by faith

There is no the most perfect world-view except Lord's truth. Truth is not gripped in my hands. It is not controllable. It is not a mathematical form that applicable to any case, any person. There is one real and perfect view, Christ Jesus's view.

I am a Korean. I have a world-view of Korean that including even several parts I can not realize myself sometimes. It is not truth, but I have saw through my own world-view in many cases. I recover often it is just a Korean style that I was believed as the most perfect life style of gospel.

I am a missionary for missionaries in whole world. I do not want to be bind to any unique world-view, to force someone to take it. Since I had a small view, so I could not understand others. I want to do not limited by a small nation's view. Only Christ Jesus is my view, standard, and my eyes.

I am very sorry to see that someone holds fast only one view what is even not truth, sometimes. I hope him(or her) to let others live as they are. I thought it but I afraid of to become as well, and I have a question. The question is "how can I understand, accept and hug any stubborn person?". I know the answer but I do not have confidence to do it. I have cried out to God that I can not do this and I am very narrow-minded.

The Lord had let me go to his presence and seek His face and will. I realized that I need Him every moments. I am too weak to reveal His Glory in me without His sustaining even though I have been crucified with Christ.
It is, actually, very strange word above. A man who experience the cross is not alone but fulled of Jesus. He is not divided from Jesus but united with Him. It is impossible that I can not do what He do. How long time that I spent to try myself to do something good belong to Jesus was!

Yes, the Lord who lives in me will make everything possible.
The Lord who lives in me will make me to live as He lived.
The Lord who lives in me will let me serve His servants doing not adhere to my old world-view.
I have to see again through God's eyes, everyday!!

Being with lover

When I was 22 year old, I enjoyed the time with my mom.
Each of we were very busy. I was senior and had many important tasks in the young community of church. And my mom was busy preacher, too.

If we are off same day, we'er very excited at only a fact that we can be with. Yes, just be with. Usually, we had rest enough, went market, back home and talked all day long. After I met Jesus on the cross, my mother was the only best friend. Though we didn't have any special, I was really glad. We were a one (of course it has being now). We had a same mind, thought, heart and delight.

It's not important where I go.
It's not important what I do.
It's not important how I do some task simply.

It's important whom I be with.

Our relaxed time

I thank God give us a new time, all day long.
Even though I'm tired, I thank God from deep of my heart.
We were excited from strat our group activities.
I looked for this from last week.
The most good is that speaking English only.
We had many funny matters.
Everyone shouted in own English, asked each other, and Koreans are spoken sometimes...! lol, lol

We had mistakes very much.
But it has made my heart be glad and warm to enjoy interest time.
God, knows us and give something most good, has done it!

Share love, share U

God let me see myself that very small, limited person.
I regret for past often that I live as such a person.
"If I had more free in my mind, it would better time..."
"If I trusted in God more, we would have more beautiful fellowship in Lord's love..."

We had a sharing time with Rebekah in my room today evening.
It was just first time share our serious thoughts to each other except our meeting.
We're very busy these days.;;
Rebekah talked about that when she didn't share her truly heart but talked about other topics.
I know that.
It's not easy to open one's heart to all freely getting age more.
Because there's fear that be not accepted or be judged.

But, in other hand, I think it's most of Korean's appearance.
What was they so fear for? Our ancestor had silence to moral excellence.

Of course, sometimes keeping lip is more smart for someone.

James, the brother of Christ Jesus, said "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak." But it doesn't mean the fellowship in precious faith.

I have to break down all of my own cutlines, falling in own sense and law of behave.

I want to willingly share and give myself.

Just like Jesus of Nazareth, came to the earth as a servant and a kernel of wheat died.

Questions

What do you study English for?
- I study English for the Lord and His Kingdom.

Where is your strength to study from?
- My strength to study is from God. He is my strength of my heart.
It's not a fear, a heavy heart or a sense of duty.
The strength from Him is that full of joy, delight, and pleasure.
It's pleasure from Him.

How do you do your best continually?
- I do my best continually by not my own will, but Christ in me.

Talking to myself

Philippaians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this,
or have already been made perfect,
but I press on to take hold of that
for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind
and strainging toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize
for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I don't know where I get the way to the end of my life, His second comming.
And I don't consider what I have done.
But I obey to my Lord, today, now.
I have loving, sharing, rejoicing... and walking as it allowed to me by only faith.
I depend on the Rock, Christ Jesus and run with don't be affected by man.

I don't know how much improve my English.
Eunice!
Don't think you have done something.
But practice and memorize English as yesterday and don't tremble.
Don't make anything to a standard and just do your own works.
Go forward away-!